I am back once more, and with a new issue!
So the tension trouble I was having has mutated into another kind but still recognizably similar.
Now I get 4 stitches that look great, and then 4 rubbish ones. And repeat.
Any ideas? Once again, don't dismiss anything as being "too basic or stupid to fix". I'd have it upside down if it wasn't for the arrows on the box.