IMPORTANT- please read

[Johanna]

This was written by the Admin of http://wilderssecurity.com Mike, aka "LowWaterMark" for his tech support forum. He gave me permission to post this here for our members to read.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to offend someone else online?

Sometimes you are posting along having a great day and suddenly, out of no where, you get a reply to a post that tells you quite bluntly that you've just insulted another person. A short time later the thread has gone off-track and people are flaming each other, and then in steps a Moderator who ends up closing the thread and everyone is angry - mostly at you.

Or, perhaps you've been on the other side on this situation. There you are trying to be helpful, posting your heart out when suddenly, for no apparent reason, someone makes a reply that appears to be down right rude and offensive, and it is aimed directly at you.

If you haven't seen this or been involved in at least one of these situations yourself, then you probably haven't been posting very long, or perhaps you aren't posting in any controversial topics or places.

I'm bringing this up for a couple reasons...

First, to remind everyone that it is very easy to misunderstand what someone intends to say in a written post. It is much harder to be clearly and consistently understood in just a few written sentences then it is when you are speaking with someone face to face.

Second, we all need to remember that the Internet spans around the world, and International Forums such as Leatherworker.net have quite a diverse group of participants. Leatherworker is an English lanuguage forum, but many of our members here do not have English as their primary language.

Think about that and its implications. Try to imagine just how much translating is being done here and how people of different languages, cultures and backgrounds can so easily misunderstand what is written in a post. Imagine times when even a simple joke, which would be funny to people with similar backgrounds, causes insult to someone who has a completely different frame of reference.

We all need to be mindful of this and try to use extra care in writing our posts, while also giving the benefit of the doubt to others, when reading what has been posted. It's best not to assume an insult and react to it when what was intended could be totally innocent.

Of course, there really are people who simply intend to insult others and disrupt a forum. Their only purpose being to cause trouble and attempt to insight flame wars. Sometimes they post inflammatory remarks against individuals, or certain vendors or products, just so they can get other people to post flaming comments back at them. (We usually refer to these people as Trolls. Hence the expression "Please don't feed the trolls." )

Remember, there really is no good reason, nor any benefit to you or your overall well being, to take offense from things that are written online. If we all use a little care in choosing how we word our posts, and if we are generous in how we interpret what others post, then we'll all have a lot more fun (and a lot less stress) online.

Please vote here to steer LW in the right direction concerning the heated topics that have come up lately.

Thank you!

Johanna

[tonyc1]

This is correct. When you read something that is written, 2 people can have entirely diff views of the same thing. It's like using the word "bastard" This can be used from an endearment to a downright insult! Written words can be taken the wrong way.

Tony.

Edited April 3, 2009 by tonyc1

[Bree]

In the forums that I moderate, I ask people to use a simple principle to guide their actions... RESPECT the other members at all times. I don't like to lay out a lot of rules as I don't think that helps all that much. However, I will demonstrate what RESPECT means when someone becomes DISRESPECTFUL. That I will do immediately, firmly, yet in a friendly fashion.

Subsequent acts of disrespect generate increasing doses of medicine. Usually one or two doses is all that is needed. I think the key to success is quick intervention when the line is crossed. People must not be allowed to learn bad behavior because the moderator failed to act quickly enough. Stop it fast and everyone learns that bad behavior can generate bad consequences.

It doesn't happen all that often. The members tend to police themselves. But if they have been around for awhile, they know that I won't hesitate to act to protect the members and their enjoyment of the message streams.

BTW I have been a mod for some motorcycle forums for many years.

My $.02.

[Rayban]

The biggest problem going on when someone gets to ranting, especially politics lately, is if they go on about what a lousy Prez. we have....they feel they are only voicing their opinion, so that makes everything they say all right.....what they don't stop to consider is that they may be offending everybody who has different views.

I'm sure it's happened many times over.....all is cool when we share our leather work pictures, and agree on the same sewing machine......and " oh, how I love how you did that...."...but find out they have different political views....that changes things.....

[Hilly]

I'm beginning to agree that politics is not the thing to be talking about on a leather forum. Either point of view can be offensive to others, doesn't matter which side you're on.

[Ian]

I'm beginning to agree that politics is not the thing to be talking about on a leather forum. Either point of view can be offensive to others, doesn't matter which side you're on.

Exactly. The definition of 'hate speech' seems to be any opinion other than our own - nevermind that those using the 'hate speech' mantra are often the most judgemental, vitiolic, and (dare I say) hateful individuals themselves.

[TexasJack]

Communication experts warn business people to be careful about using email because it's the biggest source of misunderstandings of any company communication method. The reason - which I think is kinda interesting - is that it's informal, but you can't see the person's face. The same words that you might take as a joke face-to-face can become an insult or threat on an email.

Posting on a message board like this can be very much the same. I haven't seen it here, but I have seen it on other boards.

And if there are no boundaries - make that enforced boundaries - then it becomes an open invitation for the crazies to show up and start baiting people into fights.

BTW, I think Ian made a really good point about the 'hate speech' definition. It shocks me to see how many people want to censor anyone who has an opinion contrary to their own.