Feedback Wanted On Photo Album Design

[bison]

I found out a few weeks ago that I'm going to be a grandpa. I thought I'd make my daughter and son-in-law a baby book. This is the design I came up with. My apologies to Bob Park for copying his little flowers, but my wife really likes his work. Bob, I hope it's ok with you.

This is a photo, since my scanner isn't big enough to scan it. It looks a little out of square, but that's the photo, not the design.

I'd like any feedback on this. What doesn't look right? What needs fixed?

It's about 10x11 and is the cover on a 3-part notebook. I'll have a 3-ring binder inside. It will be lined.

As you can see, I've had to do a lot of erasing and even copied and pasted back one of the flowers because it was in the wrong position (I'd made the mistake of inking it before I caught the problem...now I have a white-out pen!)

Thanks for any comments.

Dave

[Ferg]

I found out a few weeks ago that I'm going to be a grandpa. I thought I'd make my daughter and son-in-law a baby book. This is the design I came up with. My apologies to Bob Park for copying his little flowers, but my wife really likes his work. Bob, I hope it's ok with you.

This is a photo, since my scanner isn't big enough to scan it. It looks a little out of square, but that's the photo, not the design.

I'd like any feedback on this. What doesn't look right? What needs fixed?

It's about 10x11 and is the cover on a 3-part notebook. I'll have a 3-ring binder inside. It will be lined.

As you can see, I've had to do a lot of erasing and even copied and pasted back one of the flowers because it was in the wrong position (I'd made the mistake of inking it before I caught the problem...now I have a white-out pen!)

Thanks for any comments.

Dave

Dave,

I like your design because I like anything and all things Bob Park does. LOL

I think you have most paths good. I don't see any reverse circles, that is first thing I look for.

ferg

[bison]

Thanks Ferg. It's a good thing you didn't see the first sketch...reverse circles everywhere!

[dragonspit]

The design looks very nice to me. I most likely would never have caught those reversed patterns, just to new to the scene, but you can count on Ferg, he'd catch it. I meant that as a compliment. Looking forward to seeing it done.

[bison]

Thanks. It's always great to have other folks look at these things. It's really helped me get better.

Dave

[kseidel]

I found out a few weeks ago that I'm going to be a grandpa. I thought I'd make my daughter and son-in-law a baby book. This is the design I came up with. My apologies to Bob Park for copying his little flowers, but my wife really likes his work. Bob, I hope it's ok with you.

This is a photo, since my scanner isn't big enough to scan it. It looks a little out of square, but that's the photo, not the design.

I'd like any feedback on this. What doesn't look right? What needs fixed?

It's about 10x11 and is the cover on a 3-part notebook. I'll have a 3-ring binder inside. It will be lined.

As you can see, I've had to do a lot of erasing and even copied and pasted back one of the flowers because it was in the wrong position (I'd made the mistake of inking it before I caught the problem...now I have a white-out pen!)

Thanks for any comments.

Dave

You have a good start on the overall pattern. A couple of suggestions from me... There needs to be more space allowed for each individual stem in the "main" stem. It may help to make the lower line of each stem longer. They should extend to about half way into the next stem. In most cases, about twice as long as you have drawn. Draw the center of the circle in first around the flower, and then the outside. Allow more space for the outside stems to blend. In addition, the extra items you have drawn in coming off of the main stem do not have enough room to make a smooth transition. They look disconnected. (reference each split off of the main stem around each flower, and especially around the center flower) When drawing the stemwork in around the flowers, always start drawing from the flower down and not up toward the flower. This ensures that all of the stems are in the correct order. The ones closest to the flower must be on top of the next one down, and so forth. The scrolls drawn in top and bottom off of the center circle make a distracting "straight" line going up and down and break up the circular flow of the overall pattern. They would be better drawn off of one of the corner flowers to fill the same space. That would also make more space in the center circle for a smoother transition. One other thing, The flowers in the bottom right and center have their main stem growing off of themselves, where all other flowers are at the end of their respective main stems. It is best to have all flowers at the end of the main stems and therefor an equal and uniform look. This is more difficult to draw but makes the pattern continue to flow throughout the entire piece with out a distinct beginning.

Keith

[bison]

Thanks Keith. You've given me some great feedback. I can see most of what you've pointed out. I'm going to spend some more time tonight sitting down with your comments and really focusing on them. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me.

Dave

[gringobill]

Thanks Keith. You've given me some great feedback. I can see most of what you've pointed out. I'm going to spend some more time tonight sitting down with your comments and really focusing on them. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me.

Dave

Just a couple of general comments to build on what Kieth said. Your design is generally good, it just needs a little tweaking.

All parts of a design need to be in proportion to each other, for example the stems and petals need to "match the size of your flowers," if that makes any sense. It looks to me like some of your stems and particularly your flower pods are a a little too small for the flower they are attached to. There is a chance they will look too "spindly," when finished they way they are now drawn.

Also the lines of the petal should all flow smoothly from where they come off the flower (as Kieth described) and flow and fade to a point on the edge of an imaginary circle outside the edge of the flower.

Most likely you will or can do this when you are cutting the petals with your swivel knife. All of my designs look better when they're cut in leather than on paper,

The end of those cuts forming the petals should gradually taper off to nothing at the end and not end abruptly. That's what makes a pattern flow gracefully.

Hopefully this makes some sense, it's kind of hard to describe. If I was a better hand with the computer I could put some graphics on your design to illustrate what Im saying but unfortunately that's over my head.

Bill

[bison]

Thanks for the thoughtful critique, Bill. I see exactly what you're saying about proportion on the stems and pods. This sort of feedback has been great for me. This is only the second design I've done and all these comments are really helpful. I sure appreciate you taking the time to do this.

Dave

[LonnieChambers]

Hello Dave. This is my first post on this sight, and I am new to this sight. I realy like that everyone on the sight really gives good helpfull advice. If I could add something. Your flow lines on your stem work are a little thin. If they look thin on paper when you go to cutting with your swival knife they are really going to get thin. It looked to me that you had a lot of background. I like to draw floral scrols a lot. Something I do sometimes when I am not shure about my backgrounding is shade the background in with a pencil. This will alow you to really see what you entind to carve and tool. And when you are drawing a desine out it is a lot less frustrating to mess up a peice of paper than a peice of leather. I will try to figure out how to put some pics on of some of my work. I would like here so critique. As I am finding out on this long road, of carving and tooling it takes a lot of time, and a good sence of humar.

Thank you

Lonnie