Members Handstitched Posted March 5 Members Report Posted March 5 When I was a wee lad ( I was a bit of a pr*ck back then) Mum used to take me to a dept shop,called ' Boans', now its Myers, in Perth WA . Mum would take me to the cafe, I found a table, and while she getting food and drinks, I would loosen the tops of the salt and pepper shakers on the unoccupied tables , you can guess what would happen next HS Quote ' I have a very gweat friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus, He has a wife you know, do you know whats she's called? Incontinentia.......Incontinentia Buttocks '
Contributing Member fredk Posted March 5 Author Contributing Member Report Posted March 5 We went a step further; in chippies we also drank the vinegar and replaced it with water and. . . . . we weren't so 'wee' when we stopped doing these things Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
CFM chuck123wapati Posted March 5 CFM Report Posted March 5 6 hours ago, Handstitched said: When I was a wee lad ( I was a bit of a pr*ck back then) Mum used to take me to a dept shop,called ' Boans', now its Myers, in Perth WA . Mum would take me to the cafe, I found a table, and while she getting food and drinks, I would loosen the tops of the salt and pepper shakers on the unoccupied tables , you can guess what would happen next HS naw you take the top off the salt and top it off with sugar. Quote Worked in a prison for 30 years if I aint shiny every time I comment its no big deal, I just don't wave pompoms. “I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, and I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.” THE DUKE!
Contributing Member fredk Posted March 5 Author Contributing Member Report Posted March 5 remember the sugar dispensers? you tipped it up and it gave 1 serving of sugar for your tea/coffee. I hard of other putting salt in them. I never did it tho Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Members Handstitched Posted March 11 Members Report Posted March 11 Going back to the 'ye olde bad days again. In primary school in the southern ' burbs of Perth in the 70's , our class room was hot, full of flies etc. swatting flies was a highlight of our days in school, during summer, no air cond. the days seemed to drag on, and the lessons were borrrring, God bless Mrs Mickleright. We often kept ourselves ' entertained' . So, a girl sitting in front of me had long hair, I sneakily plucked a strand of hair from her head and very carefully tied it around the fly that I just caught , and let it go while holding the other end , so I had this fly on on a ' leash' funniest damn thing I ever saw ....and then I let it go, so theres this fly with a strand of hair flying around the class room When I think of that these days , I can't help but think of ' Freak On A Leash' by Korn Some of the other kids used to pluck the wings off the flies, they were no longer flies, they were ' walks' HS Quote ' I have a very gweat friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus, He has a wife you know, do you know whats she's called? Incontinentia.......Incontinentia Buttocks '
Members Sheilajeanne Posted March 24 Members Report Posted March 24 LOL! I learned to drive in my mom's '68 VW Super Beetle, so I have a soft spot for them! Quote
Contributing Member fredk Posted March 25 Author Contributing Member Report Posted March 25 Mummy, is Daddy dead? No darling, he's in his leather room doing some basket-weave stamping Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Members Sheilajeanne Posted March 27 Members Report Posted March 27 A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a birthday present for her son, a fishing rod and reel. She does not know which one to purchase, so she just randomly takes one and starts toward the checkout. Behind the counter is a clerk wearing sunglasses. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me about this rod and reel? The clerk says, "Lady, I'm totally blind, but if you drop it on the counter, I can tell you what it is by the sound." Suspicious but curious, she drops the rod and reel onto the counter. He blurts out without hesitation, "That's a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It's a good all-purpose setup, and it's on sale this week for just $20." Amazed, she exclaims, “That’s incredible! I’ll take it.” As she opens her purse to retrieve her credit card, it slips from her fingers and lands on the floor. The clerk immediately remarks, “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard.” She reaches down to pick it up and, in so doing, lets out a little silent-but-deadly fart. Truly mortified at first, she quickly reassures herself that, after all, the clerk is blind, so what does that have to do with anything? There is no way he could tell it was her. The man wraps up her purchase and says, "That'll be $34.50, please." Confused, she asks, "Wait, didn't you say the rod and reel were $20? How did we get to $34.50? He replies calmly, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel cost $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50." Without another word, she pays and rushes out of the store. Quote
Contributing Member fredk Posted March 30 Author Contributing Member Report Posted March 30 An old Belfast joke 4 new convicted criminals sat down to lunch together The first says "I got 3 years for robbing a post office What did you others do and what sentence did you get? The second man says "I got 2 years for stealing a car" The third man says "8 years for armed robbery of a bank" The fourth man was quiet for a while then he says "20 years" "Well? What for?" asks the others "Shoplifting" "Shoplifting?!?" the others say in astonishment "Well the bomb did lift the shop about fifty feet in the air" Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
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