toxo Posted October 11 Report Posted October 11 A Chinese dustman knocked on the door and a bronzed hunk of a man answered. "Where you bin?" Says the Chinaman? Hunk Says "I've been on holiday, d'you like the tan?". "Naw naw naw, where you wheelie bin?" Says the Chinaman. Hunk Says " OK, I lied. I've been on the sunbed". Quote
Members Handstitched Posted October 12 Members Report Posted October 12 'What do you call a piece of meat if you burn it on the bbq? 'A mis-steak' Thats just silly HS Quote ' I have a very gweat friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus, He has a wife you know, do you know whats she's called? Incontinentia.......Incontinentia Buttocks '
Members Handstitched Posted Thursday at 12:52 PM Members Report Posted Thursday at 12:52 PM 'A camel walks into a Cafe' and asks for a cup of coffee with milk and sugar, the barrista says one hump or two ? 😁 O'h dear HS Quote ' I have a very gweat friend in Wome called Biggus Dickus, He has a wife you know, do you know whats she's called? Incontinentia.......Incontinentia Buttocks '
Contributing Member fredk Posted Thursday at 01:40 PM Author Contributing Member Report Posted Thursday at 01:40 PM Don't give up the day job just yet That joke might go down well at the Edinburgh Fringe On 10/12/2025 at 1:54 PM, Handstitched said: 'What do you call a piece of meat if you burn it on the bbq? 'A mis-steak' I thot that was normal; you're supposed to burn the meat on the outside and have it raw in the middle Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Contributing Member fredk Posted Friday at 09:50 PM Author Contributing Member Report Posted Friday at 09:50 PM Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Contributing Member fredk Posted Saturday at 06:51 PM Author Contributing Member Report Posted Saturday at 06:51 PM My house is haunted by a chicken. A poultrygeist. A fowl spirit. I plan to call an eggsorcist to help it cross to the other side. Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Contributing Member fredk Posted yesterday at 12:08 PM Author Contributing Member Report Posted yesterday at 12:08 PM (edited) During WW2 an American pilot was shot down. He crash landed on a remote island where the natives took him prisoner He was taken before the chief who said to him 'Give me one good reason why we should not kill you and eat you' ( the natives always speak perfect English in the movies!) 'I can show you great magic' says the pilot 'Show me this great magic and if it impresses me you can go free' So the pilot get out his Zippo lighter, 'I can make fire with this small tin box' and with one flick it lights The chief is amazed at this, his people all cry out 'ooh, such magic!' The chief says 'That indeed is big magic. You are free to go. My people will take you to where you can be rescued by your people' Later the chief's #1 son says 'Dad, we've seen Zippo lighters before. Why did you let the man go this time?' Chief says ' Yes son, we have seen Zippo lighters many times before. But never one that lights first time!' Edited yesterday at 12:15 PM by fredk Quote Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
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