Life is short

[texback]

It's been a while since I last was on this site. Last November my 32 yo son had a major stroke. He had been making tremendous progress and had regained partial use of his right arm and was able to communicate better. He had even been able to drive again, against my advice. Things were looking up. Then on May 24th, I received the phone call that no parent ever wants to get. My son had passed away.

I post this not for sympathy, but to urge each and every one of you to let those that you love and care for know it before it's too late. I have peace of mind knowing that my son knew I loved him. Life is short.

[bikermutt07]

Very sorry for your loss. There is no pain like losing your child. I watched the pain my parents suffered after losing my oldest brother. The pain never ever goes away. In 2014 my wife and I had our second son Eddie. We never got to bring him home. He lived here for only two weeks, but he totally changed our lives. My wife, being an art teacher was inspired in so many ways once the grief subsided a little. She launched a Be a Gift program to inspire folks to be organ donors. When I came to the conclusion that I would have to start moving again, I picked up leather crafting. You know, just to get my hands moving again. I think a lot about him in the quiet while I hand stitch my little hobby projects. I was "fortunate" enough in my life to see the choices my father had made in his grief. I was able to steer myself in a different direction after seeing his experience. I don't judge my father for his choices, I just made different ones. On the 15th, it will be Eddie's 2nd birthday. I suppose this is why I ramble.

Sorry, back on topic. Everyone in my house knows they are loved.

God bless you.

[Ferg]

My wife had her last radiation treatment last Wednesday. She is one tough lady. She done everything and more the Doctors told her to do.

She came to me the other night to show me the new skin that is appearing already. Oncologist says she has a 9% chance of reoccurrence of the cancer within ten years.

We are so blessed. At my age there are way too many old friends and family no longer with us. We grieve for all of them and try to remember all of the great things we done together over the years.

Ferg

[Pavel]

Hello. I'm deeply sorry for what you've gone through. It is indeed the very worst news one can ever get, losing a child. My own experience with mortality and the idea that time is indeed short is related in a circuitous way to why I've just joined this forum today.  I'm 56 now and since age 29 I've been fighting cancer.  Well, I've not been fighting anythings but for my next beer - but the doctors have. I've simply been an unwilling spectator in the sport of "how much longer?". And my doctors have been my luck. 

Four separate cancers so far, and two that had been declared terminal and one autologous stem cell transplant. Here I am still, somewhat addled but pretty happy. And pretty aware of how time is short.  The odd thing is, that there is always a silver lining.  In my case it is that realization regarding how fragile our best plans can be, and how relationships are always what is important. It is so easy to focus on the distractions. 

Now that I no longer hallucinate much and am able to start to live a bit normally I've found that all my old hobbies don't seem to fit anymore. So what to do? I'm what I thought was a bit of an "unmanly" move I bought a sewing machine. I wanted something completely new, complex and something with more of an artisanal feel to it. A more human kind of thing, something traditional.  But the problem for me is a lot that I like the idea of a sewing machine and learning how to make the "perfect" seam, but I have in actuality no interest in garments.  I was about to send the darn thing back when in looking for needles I read a post about this forum in the Cutter and Taylor board. Ding, ding, ding. Something clicked in my head.  Leatherworking? What a strange idea! But why does it seem so appealing? And why is there this great resource - leatherworker.net?

So life is short and life is unpredictable. But just as there are awful down times, there are wonderful, unexpected things.  I sincerely feel for you and have seen fist hand how painful tragedy is for the surviving loved ones. I hope you find something of comfort to sustain you. It comes in its own time - but it comes.  

And thanks for reminding us all.

[bikermutt07]

Thanks for your post, Pavel. I take great comfort in life now. I feel I have come full circle in a spiritual sense. My baby boy is gone, but I know he is ok. I know now that this body of flesh is a mere container for life. It was made (by design) to get sick and fall away. The body was never intended to live forever. That's a journey for the soul. 

I compare it to a lighter. Just a simple bic lighter. It holds and contains fire. But it is nothing compared to the potential of fire in a forest.

Just something I take comfort in.