2024, for fun

[bladegrinder]

It seems like nothing is made in America anymore. I just bought a TV and it said, built in antenna...I don't even know where that is.

[bladegrinder]

Ron told the wife he was really excited about the upcoming four day hunting trip, that's all he talked about, the night before he left he asked his wife to pack his clothes. so the next day he had all his deer hunting stuff in the truck, wife wished him good luck and off he went.

After four days of hard drinking and gambling with his friends in Vegas he went home and the wife asked how it was staying out in the cold woods hunting, and did he get anything.

he said, well I took a few shots at some nice deer but somehow I missed, I guess my scope is off, other then that it was kind of boring. but you must have forgot to pack my socks, I couldn't find any socks with my cloths.

his wife say's, I put five pairs right on top of your rifle inside your gun case.

[fredk]

I wouldn't say it was cold but I just saw some brass monkeys down the town looking for a welder

[Sheilajeanne]

    

In case you can't read it, the front of the statue says 'freeze indicator'! 

Edited January 21, 2024 by Sheilajeanne

[Sheilajeanne]

There was once a young fisherman, who lived in a coastal village, who suffered the misfortune of a snapped paddle. This, of course, left his boat just about useless. Speaking to one of his neighbors, he asked where he might get a new one, as his old ones had always held up well.

"Well, the carver lives just down the main street. But don't knock, he's not fond of company. Just leave three silver coins in a pouch on his stoop, and he'll leave the work outside his place with your pouch over the tip."

'And how will I know this hermit carver's home from any other? Lots of people live on the main street!"

"There is a house, where new oars lean..."

[bladegrinder]

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench smoking cigarettes when it starts raining, the one old lady pulls a condom out of her purse, cuts the tip off and slides it over her cigarette to keep it dry and keeps puffing away. the other lady says, wow! that's a great idea, where did you get that? the old lady replies, it's a condom, you can buy them at any pharmacy.

So next week when the other old lady goes to the pharmacy to pick up her medications she tells the nice young pharmacist "I'd like to buy a condom too", the young guy, kind of surprised say's well...good for you! we sell different sizes, do you know what size you need?

The old lady replies, it needs to fit a Camel.

[Sheilajeanne]

  Good 'un!

[Handstitched]

"Two old ladies sitting on a park bench, when a naked man ran past. One had a stroke, the other couldn't quite reach " 

Its an oldie, but I like it 

HS

[fredk]

Two old men sitting on a park bench when an old lady streaked past

'What was that Mavis was wearing'

'I dunno, but it needed ironing'

[Sheilajeanne]

Two elderly people decided to get married, and for their wedding night, the husband bought his new wife a really nice silk negligee.

When the wife went into the bathroom to get ready for bed, she decided to surprise her husband by returning to the bedroom totally naked.

"Here I am, dear," she cooed

He looked up at her (minus his glasses, of course), and scowled. "Dammit, for what I paid for that thing, at LEAST they could have ironed it!" 

Edited January 31, 2024 by Sheilajeanne