Have a laugh in 2025

[fredk]

Over Christmas I had some of that German spiced cake

'Stollen?'

Certainly not! I paid for it

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A farmer was encouraged to buy one of a new breed of farm dogs. He was told it was well behaved and a good worker

On the first day the farmer got out of bed late, at 8.30. When he came down the stairs he found the dog asleep in front of the fire. He kicked the dog awake with a 'huh, so much for hard working!'

To which the dog replied ' I say, there's no need for that. This morning I was up early and patrolling round the farm. I came across three rustlers in the lower fields and I saw them off, with a bite or two out of their bottoms. I then repaired the fence in the lower paddock, then I re-hung the gate to the hen run and then I rounded up the sheep and put 100 in the trailer for you'

'100 sheep?, but I only have 94'

'I just told you, I rounded them up'   

 

[chuck123wapati]

On 1/1/2025 at 10:04 AM, fredk said:

Over Christmas I had some of that German spiced cake

'Stollen?'

Certainly not! I paid for it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A farmer was encouraged to buy one of a new breed of farm dogs. He was told it was well behaved and a good worker

On the first day the farmer got out of bed late, at 8.30. When he came down the stairs he found the dog asleep in front of the fire. He kicked the dog awake with a 'huh, so much for hard working!'

To which the dog replied ' I say, there's no need for that. This morning I was up early and patrolling round the farm. I came across three rustlers in the lower fields and I saw them off, with a bite or two out of their bottoms. I then repaired the fence in the lower paddock, then I re-hung the gate to the hen run and then I rounded up the sheep and put 100 in the trailer for you'

'100 sheep?, but I only have 94'

'I just told you, I rounded them up'   

 

[chuck123wapati]

funniest thing I've heard this year. Trump telling Trudeau he could be the governor of the 51st state. I'll bet the look on his face was priceless. 

[Sheilajeanne]

Yup, I'll bet!

According to him, Trudeau IS the governor of Canada, not the Prime Minister! 

[Sheilajeanne]

A man goes to his doctor and says Doctor, I think I'm losing my hearing."

The Doctor says, "Can you describe the symptoms for me?"

The man replies, "Sure. Homer is fat and bald, Marge has tall blue hair..."

[Sheilajeanne]

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"

"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!

"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling,

"Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?!"

 

[chuck123wapati]

On 1/4/2025 at 8:07 PM, Sheilajeanne said:

Yup, I'll bet!

According to him, Trudeau IS the governor of Canada, not the Prime Minister! 

I guess he doesn't want the job lol. 

[toxo]

A white horse goes up to the bar in the pub and the barman says "We've got a whiskey named after you " The horse said "Wot Eric?"

[toxo]

https://www.facebook.com/share/1E3DSiDJjz/

Well that didn't work. 

I'll texturised? It.

A woman was talking to some of her friends and said  "a guy asked me if I wanted to stroke his cocker spaniel.  With hindsight I should have chosen the spaniel."

Edited 16 hours ago by toxo

[Northmount]

5 hours ago, toxo said:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1E3DSiDJjz/

Well that didn't work. 

I'll texturised? It.

A woman was talking to some of her friends and said  "a guy asked me if I wanted to stroke his cocker spaniel.  With hindsight I should have chosen the spaniel."

Getting pretty racy considering there are youth who may be able to access this.  Maybe should post in the adult section.

[toxo]

51 minutes ago, Northmount said:

Getting pretty racy considering there are youth who may be able to access this.  Maybe should post in the adult section.

Didn't think it was that bad but I take your point. Can you delete and repost?