Laughing in 2026

[fredk]

I was bitten by a wolf today

I had to go to the hospital for treatment

The nurse asked me 'Where'

I said 'No, just the usual ordinary type'

[fredk]

The doctor told me last week I'd have to cut down on my drinking. Only one glass of whiskey per week

So far I'm up to the third week of August 2217 

[Sheilajeanne]

An old joke but a goodie...

 

[billybopp]

@Sheilajeanne - That one reminds me of a story my grandmother used to tell - My grandfather went to the store to buy her a bra.  The clerk asked what size, he replied "I don't know".  She then asked, "Well, are they the size of grapefruit?"  "No".  How about the size of oranges?"  "No.  Not that big", he replied.  She asked "The size of eggs, then?" .. "Yes!" he replied. "Fried eggs".

My grandparents were awesome.  LOL

-Bill

[Sheilajeanne]

Jesus walks into a bar and sees a man sitting alone with a glass of water.

Jesus asks him, "My son, are you a believer?"

The man shakes his head, "No." With a wave of his hands, Jesus changes the drink to a glass of wine. "Well my son, do you believe now?" The man frowns and again shakes his head.

 

The next day Jesus comes into the bar and sees the same man. "My son, are you a believer yet?" The man shakes his head, "No." Jesus waves his hands and the glass is changed to wine. "Well my son, now you surely believe?" The man frowns and again shakes his head in frustration.

 

On the third day Jesus enters the bar and approaches the same guy. He asks, "My son, are you a believer yet?"

The man looks up and in a thick Russian accent says, "If I say I believe, will you please leave my vodka alone today?"