Am I Just Too Much A Newbie Or Am I Dealing With A Nutjob?

[CyLee]

So I have this friend... we all have a story that starts like that, don't we. Anyway, he can do anything better and knows more than Webster and Wikipedia combined. Since he knows so much, I often times discount all his thoughts. Other times, I'm perplexed trying to figure out what he said, why he would say it, and if it really even matters all all! However, usually, I'm just selectively deaf when he goes on and on and on... and on...

Recently I brought home a couple dozen full hair on cowhides. They are magnificent beautifies that perhaps only those of us addicted to leather could fully appreciate. I covered my guest room bed with plastic and topped that with a few old sheets before laying them out to rest while I created a hanging system for them in my spare room, which I am running out of quickly now that leather has taken over. You know exactly what I mean, no doubt.

So as I happen to be laying them across the bed, friend pops in. He talks about how I should just hang them over a metal pipe. I explain metal and leather... He disagrees. He then tells me to wrap them in a plastic bag. I explain sweating and mold. See where this is going?

Then as I place one of the largest, most beautiful red hides my eyes have ever seen atop another dark hide, he says, "Now that... That one is a nice heifer." I say, "Heifer?" He says, "Yes. You can tell it's a heifer if you know your leather."

Clearly, I don't know my leather as I saw no signs of gender, much less calving on this hide. Did I miss something or was this another idiotic remark I should have let roll off my back? Please offer advice because I feel if I am working with leather I should at least be able to identify a hide when the village idiot can.

Laughingly,

CyLee

I should add, he was about 20 feet from where the hide was, so couldn't clearly see and never touched it at all.

[Grey Drakkon]

A good word for someone like that is "twit". Actually I can think of way more, but it might get me booted. My sister's mother in law is just like that guy, and tries to get away with lying about the stupidest stuff. She of course backpedals if it turns out you actually know something about the subject that she's hijacking.

[chiefjason]

I keep hearing folks talk about bull hide and cow hide. I'm sure there IS a difference. I do believe I've gotten a few of each based on size difference and hide characteristics, but no way to really know. Age could probably do the same thing. I just find it difficult to believe that the slaughterhouse separates them, or the tannery charges enough to dig them out and sell them separately. It just does not work like that. No way to tell what it is. And no reason too.

Your friend is too smart by half.

[WScott]

He is a dumb ass, plain and simple

Professional bs'er who needs to hear himself talk

Walk away

[mlapaglia]

NExt time reply with something like, "Yes it is, too bad her front right leg was shorter than the rest". Throw him for a loop. Of course he will agree and go from there or argue the it was the left rear that was short. Either way you get to chuckle.

[cgleathercraft]

Thanks for the Friday laugh

NExt time reply with something like, "Yes it is, too bad her front right leg was shorter than the rest". Throw him for a loop. Of course he will agree and go from there or argue the it was the left rear that was short. Either way you get to chuckle.

I agree, so how far you can get the next story to evolve. Then prepare an oxygen tank to prevent from passing out from the hysterical laughing fit afterwards.

[DoubleC]

LOL I watch Kevin's Value Channel at Springfield Leather and I've heard him describe leather in probably 200 ways but never by bull or heifer. Actually after 3 years on here I've never heard it. I DO have a friend like yours though although she doesn't try and act like she knows everything about leather, just everything else, LOLOL. I agree with the OP about the 'one leg shorter' or something else to tease him but don't expect any change. You can prove one thing to these people but they'll still know everything about everything else

[chiefjason]

I'll give High Noon holsters props for this info. Now you can start messing with him

Bull- intact male cattle

cow- female cattle

Steer- nuetered, de sexed, bull

Ox- castrated adult male

Heifer- cow that has born no or only one calf

Tell him it was actually an Ox but you have already cut out the bar code they implanted under the hide.

[jfdavis58]

Lotsa hides out there, grab some frog (some folks call it toad). They're $8-12 per whole hide. It's the only leather I know where you can identify an external organ-or absence of one. I think most folks identify it as the _______; more likely its where the tail is cut out/off. Either way it's a fitting description of this personality type.

[billybopp]

Is this friend by any chance a salesman?

Just wonderin'.

Bill

[texback]

Well I got a good laugh out of that one. I know a few folks like this as well. Next time your friend pulls this with you if you are wearing boots, just pull your pants legs up and stuff them into the top of your boots. If/when he asks why you did that just look him in the eyes and tell him it's getting deep in here. I've done that a few times and eventually they get the point or just stop talking to you period. Either way it works.

[Grumpy Coyote]

Guys like this give proper know-it-alls like me a bad name. Tell him I'm coming over to take his "arrogant jerk" membership card back. It's too exclusive of a club for the likes of him.

[CyLee]

Is this friend by any chance a salesman?

Just wonderin'.

Bill

Haha... A mechanic.

Thanks for the Friday laugh

I agree, so how far you can get the next story to evolve. Then prepare an oxygen tank to prevent from passing out from the hysterical laughing fit afterwards.

I can normally count on some topic or another each time we meet up. I just had to wonder a tad bit since he supposedly lived on a working farm. However, he was also a hunting and fishing guide, yet I tie his flies and show him how to cast. So there is that, too... *laughs*

[raysouth]

What department of the government does he act in??????

May be running for top office soon. Just another Nutcase making his presence known.

[CyLee]

What department of the government does he act in??????

May be running for top office soon. Just another Nutcase making his presence known.

I am not EVEN worried about that. haha

[Handstitched]

On a coffee mug:

" Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig"

@JFDavis58. I could confuse the matter ever more by telling him to identify a male & female Cane Toad

HS

[tboyce]

My wife's mother was like that. She had to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. I grew up with a love of classical music and, whenever I was driving, I would play it on the radio. When my wife is in the car, she will often ask me which piece is playing and, I will tell her, if I know it. If her mother was in the car as well, she would often agree with me in a slightly surprised and condescending tone.

I started wondering if she really knew the genre that well and so started giving my wife wrong answers on purpose....same agreeing comments, condescending tones. I finally laughed and told her was I was doing...the woman never spoke to me again. Best thing that could have happened to both my wife and I

[Tannin]

Perhaps he was "just being a man"? I am told we always try to solve problems for women when really they just want us to do is shut up and listen :D (Is that what I'm doing now?!). As a mechanic - his role in life is problem solving - and god bless 'em all for it, I hate working on cars.

I grew up in the countryside but never really got to grips with all the farming lingo but perhaps he was thinking of, the Red Heifer.