Sheilajeanne

Okay, that last bit I don't believe! He'd have to be a very mean cop to give the pilot a ticket for an emergency landing!

HS - GROAN!! Found on FB today: A Texas Highway Patrol Officer was conducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville, TX. The officer was using a handheld radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville and was suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then... It suddenly went dead. Immediately a deafening roar over the Mesquite treetops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise near it's Naval Air home base location in Kingsville. Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi, the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his officer's equipment. The reply came back in true USMC style: "Thank you for your letter.... You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down. Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location. Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77, south of Kingsville. The pilot suggests your officer covers his mouth when cursing since the video systems on these jets are extremely high-tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster." (Okay we know it probably didn't happen but it sure made me laugh!)

Wow! How would you wear something like that without spiking yourself??

Billybop, that service still exists. It's called The War Amps: https://www.waramps.ca/ways-we-help/key-tags/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=63428541&gbraid=0AAAAADx3latKA-J4D64VEc1nhN-s87J9c&gclid=CjwKCAjwq9rFBhAIEiwAGVAZP7FXiQQo_rgeWaK0rq1JRJukUVntf5-RjdXPRwq2ZmWv56QI5MutxhoCgzkQAvD_BwE It's only in Canada, unfortunately. But they are good people, and do a wonderful service for amputees, as well as returning lost keys for their subscribers!

Bulldogs were bred to bite and not let go (The long-banned sport of bull baiting is what they were originally bred for!) The original bulldog is now such a genetic mess they can no longer reproduce without human help, will drown if they fall into a pool, and often suffer from heat stroke in hot weather because they no longer have a muzzle to cool the air when they pant. Despite this, those bull-baiting bulldog genes can sometimes resurface, and it ain't pretty when it happens! Was this an American bulldog or a British? The Americans were bred to get rid of all the health problems the British dog has. They are longer-legged, actually have a muzzle and can breathe better. They can also move faster and are more agile, which makes them more dangerous if they want to bite someone. During my time owning a boarding kennel, the dog that gave me the biggest scare was a boxer. I was trying to get him back into his kennel, and he jumped straight up in the air to face level. For an awful moment, I though he was going to grab for my throat! Fortunately, my kennel helper came along, and called him from inside the kennel, and he went to her. But those were a tense couple of minutes, facing off with that dog!

Drinks are a mix of metric and Imperial. At the local pub, they're sold in pints and ounces, but at the store, I buy a 2 litre bottle of pop. Smaller bottles and cans are a mix of sizes. The 'tall boy' can of beer I just drank is 473 ml, which is actually a pint, though it doesn't say that on the can. Bottled water is usually half a litre, but a can of Coke is 12 oz. We're supposed to be bilingual in French and English*, but it would be more accurate to say we're bilingual when it comes to measurements! (We're not - you will have a hard time finding anyone who speaks French fluently outside of Quebec.)

Fred, Canada officially switched to metric in the late 1960's but I think from what you said above, we're like the U.K. The transition was never 100% This chart explains it quite well!

Fred, I thought the UK was metric, so I was the one that changed it to KPH! My bad...

Terrible news coming from Merseyside this evening. The Birkenhead Tunnel has been closed and the speed limit will be reduced for the foreseeable future to 40 km. per hour. The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the tunnel approach recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, has confirmed in their report the problem was NOT Avian Flu but rather the cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorrys, while only 2% were killed by cars. The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry"

Funny, but gosh, that looks OLD! Is it from an old movie?

I tried to walk like an Egyptian... and now I need to see a Cairo practor!

Good one, Northmount!

Sean had long heard the story of a family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that day, they would walk across the lake to their local pub for their first legal drink. So, when Sean's 18th birthday arrive, he and his friend Mick took a boat, rowed out into the middle of the lake, and Sean stepped out of the boat. He immediately sank, and nearly drowned. He was only save by Mick, who managed to pull him back into the boat. Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, "Gran, 'tis my 18th birthday. So why can't I walk across the water like me father, me grandfather and his father before him? Gran looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, "Because they were all born in January when the lake was frozen over. You were born in August, ye feckin' idiot!"

Oh, my, Chuck! Best laugh I've had all week! There's this story I've heard a few times of a nurse livening up a dull night shift by spreading chocolate pudding on a diaper, then eating it! I suppose that would get a similar reaction... Is your potted meat similar to Spam? No -wait - spam doesn't look like cat food... I've actually eaten it from time to time, and it looks a lot like tinned ham, probably because pork is the main ingredient.

LOL, Chuck! Yep, as you get older, you learn to think ahead! The ability to make good decisions comes with experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions!

[quote] [Agrees with Chuck!]

LOL, Wiz! I recently traded in my 2010 Rav4 with 230,000 km. on it for a newer one. The only problem I had that wouldn't qualify as routine maintenance was a front ball joint needed replacing. Oh, and I managed to rip the bumper off one day by catching it on the tire of a parked truck... The truck was totally unharmed, fortunately.

Our national holiday is July 1st (Canada Day). Ontario and some of the other provinces are having a HUGE problem with wildfires at the moment. Toronto recently ranked first in the world for poor air quality due to smoke from the fires. As a result, someone posted this cartoon on FB!

Toyota makes SEWING Machines?? Ya learn something new every day! [Pats the hood of her Rav4] Here's hoping they're as reliable and well-built as their cars are!

When librarians get bored:

Farming is definitely one of the more hazardous occupations there is. My great-grandfather was killed back in the early 1900's when the horses were frightened by one of those newfangled 'horseless carriages' and ran away. He fell off the seat of the reaper, and his foot got caught in the sheaf carrier strap. He was dragged back to the barn with his head banging on the ground, and suffered a fatal brain injury. My dad's youngest brother was using the hay elevator to load corn cobs into a silo, and the cuff of his overalls got caught on the elevator. The woman helping him didn't know where the shutoff switch was, so had to run a fair distance to unplug the cord from the outlet. By that point, Gord was hanging from the top of the elevator by his ankles, with the elevator belt running over them. He was in a wheelchair for a couple of months. They set up an intercom system from the house to the barn, so he could supervise his sons while they were doing the milking and chores. That did not always go well. One day they got into a fight while Gord and his wife were entertaining company. The language coming over the intercom wasn't exactly 'family friendly'! Another time, his second oldest son was riding on the back of the tractor while his father was moving a disc harrow from one field to another. When he hit the hump from the field to the grass, his son fell off and was run over by the harrow. Broken leg and some internal injuries. Thank God it wasn't the chisel harrow... His friends at school weren't very sympathetic. They'd stick tacks in the rubber ends of his crutches so they'd slip on the floor... When my dad was in his old age, he developed respiratory problems, probably as the result of all the dust he inhaled while working on the farm. His chest x-ray showed a healed fracture of one of his ribs. "When did you break a rib?" I asked. He had to think for quite a few minutes. "I guess it was the time I stepped back so my dad could drive the Model T into the barn loft, and someone had left the trap door open. I fell through it and hit the concrete edge of the pig pen, and was knocked unconscious." He came to a short time later, lying on the daybed in the kitchen. His dad had brought a rare treat back from the store in town: a brick of ice cream. "Come and get your ice cream, Harvey, before it melts," his mom said, when she saw he was awake. A broken rib and a concussion. No doctor's office visit, just "Come and get some ice cream..." Farm kids sure are tough!

My cousin's husband used to have an antique business. He would often restore antique furniture and sell it. One day, he was pushing a piece of wood through the band saw, and was using his hand to push it instead of the safer (proper)way of using a scrap piece of wood. The saw blade hit a hidden nail, his hand was pulled into the blade and he lost two fingers. The hospital managed to re-attach one of them, but the other was too badly mangled. I don't have any major work-related accidents to report, though working with horses has left me with a few sore joints and scars. Stupidest accident was when I put a pitchfork through my rubber boot while forking manure. Fortunately, I was wearing two pairs of socks and the skin wasn't broken! I think I'd had a very late night the day before, so wasn't all that wide awake! Worst horse related accident - was riding a young mare recently retired from the track. The stable had recently bought her as a school horse. They only teach the racehorses to run in the one direction, so when the instructor told us to canter, she picked up the wrong lead. She was also feeling really fresh, so she took off like she was going out of the starting gate at the track. When she hit the corner of the arena, I think she must have tried to change leads, got her legs all tied up in a knot, and crashed into the wall. Next thing I know, I'm lying in the dirt, my watch is ripped off my wrist, the knee of my britches is ripped open, and I've got a huge bruise above the knee and another one below the knee and everything is spinning (mild concussion). The instructor comes over and asks if I'm okay. I shake my head, which is still spinning. Now this was the funny part. Next thing I know, I look up and HE is up on my horse, checking to see if SHE is okay! Eventually I managed to get back up on my feet, and took the horse back to her stall. I'd ridden that horse several times, and had mucked out her stall that morning, but couldn't remember where it was - had to ask someone! Yeah, definitely a bit concussed!

I'm a huge LOTR fan. Here's an absolutely hysterical thread about a dungeonmaster (think that's the correct term!) trying to get a group to play LOTR as a D&D game! https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=612