Breast cancer.

[Mulesaw]

My wife recently got diagnosed with breast cancer, it has spread a little to the lymph as well.. 

Good thing is that it was discovered very early, so the doctors at the hospital are very positive regarding the treatment. The plan is chemo therapy followed by surgery to remove the remnants of the tumours. We are 3 weeks into the treatment, and the total time is planned to last 24 weeks, and then there'll be some regular controls and check ups after that.

I have applied for and been granted a leave from my ship, so I can stay at home and look after her. I figure that it'll be more needed later on when the full force of the chemo sets in, compared to now. So if she feels really sick she can just stay in bed, and know that there is someone who will tend to the horses and the dogs etc. 

So I might not comment and post quite as much as I have done earlier on for the next couple of months.

You all stay safe and healthy out there 

[PastorBob]

Praying for you and your wife.  That the treatment is successful and that the medical team is at the top of their game.  Glad you have the opportunity to be by her side at this time.  She may not need it physically at this time, but I am sure from a mental standpoint, she is glad you are there NOW.

[chuck123wapati]

I am so sorry to hear that news my friend stay home and take care of her, even on a good day chemo isn't fun. 

We will be here any time. I cant help much from here but i can give you my support, prayers and will listen if you feel the need. 

[Handstitched]

Sadly, this is something my Mother experienced back in 78'  . Very little was known about breast cancer back then, and there was very little support or awareness . But thankfully these days there is so much awareness and support .

The fact it was discovered early , the chances of recovery are high. It will be a difficult journey, but you have all of our support  on here .  I wish you and your wife and family all the very best   

HS

[Sheilajeanne]

The chemo did not make me feel all that sick during my round with breast cancer back in 2000.  I would often go home, then go out and do my grocery shopping! The third day was usually the worst. It just made me feel tired and sometimes just a little feverish. I had to be careful what I ate, though. Spicy food or anything that irritated the digestive system gave me the runs. Never had a problem with nausea or vomiting, though.

BTW, here's a tip. They used to give me a dose of Benadryl before the chemo, in case I got an allergic reaction to it. I think it also helps with nausea too. That is NOT a non-drowsy antihistamine, so I wasn't happy about being dosed with it. I take Allegra for my allergies, so I asked if I could take that instead, and after they got permission from my doctor, they said fine, go ahead!

I was scheduled for 12 sessions of taxol, but only got 6, as I started having breathing problems, plus I got an infection in my port-a-cath. I was hospitalized for awhile due to that. Unfortunately, the shortness of breath never completely went away. My oxygen sats are usually around 92 to 95 percent, but go down really fast with any sort of exertion. The respirologist says it`s rare but the chemo does sometimes damage the lungs.   Yeah. Lucky me...

 

Edited May 18, 2023 by Sheilajeanne

[toxo]

I guess I was lucky when I had throat cancer in 2000 because I was able to roll with the punches. Because they didn't find the source (they diagnosed from a lymph node biopsy) they gave me the harshest treatment to ensure they caught it A whole week of chemo followed by a break of 3 weeks and repeat. I had 3 rounds of this followed by radio therapy, every day for seven and a half weeks. I found the anti sickness was worse so stopped taking it. I have to say the oncology at Maidstone hospital was wonderful and the worst of it was when the radio machine broke down when I was locked down tight on the bed (They had to make a clear mask because they couldn't indelibly mark my face and neck as a target) and I couldn't move whilst hoisted up to within 3 ft of a very high ceiling for an hour which, I found later traumatised me to the point where I couldn't watch people being handcuffed on the TV. The worst of it was losing all my saliva and severely compromised taste buds. Some saliva is back but gravy is my God. Try eating a potato chip after wiping your mouth out with a man sized tissue. I count myself lucky, could've been a lot worse.

That's enough about me. I only tell the story to show that it's doable if you can not make a big deal of it. It's a shitty thing to happen to anyone but you being there for your wife is immensely important. I didn't have that support.

I don't know how far cancer treatment has come, I was lucky with my treatment, my hair didn't fall out. People that were likely to lose their hair were given thick "cold caps" which were kept in a fridge while getting their treatment and it seemed to work. They forgot to give it to one woman one time and her hair fell out so you can ask about that.

I wish you both best wishes for the future and I know this will all be a bad memory in the months to come. Good luck.

[Sheilajeanne]

Hair loss depends on the chemo drug used. My oncologist told me I'd lose my hair, and I did, after the 3rd session. I was able to get (borrow) a very nice wig from the Cancer Society. A friend of mine who was a hairdresser didn't even realize it was a wig! 

The up side to the hair loss was it happened during the COVID lockdown, when no one was able to get a haircut. Me...I didn't have to worry!  

Wigs are ridiculously expensive to buy, so if your wife thinks she would like one, see what the local Cancer society has available. 

Cancer treatment, especially for breast cancer, has improved a great deal in the last few decades. My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer in the 1960's, at the same age I was diagnosed. She died from it. So did my husband's mother (late 1950's)

My cancer never would have been caught in time without a mammogram. Even the oncologist, using the mammogram as a guide, had a hard time feeling where it was in the breast. I won't say the treatment was a walk in the park, but it was light years ahead of what we used to hear about 20 years ago, with nausea, vomiting and radiation burns. I had some minor weeping of the skin with the radiation that lasted about 10 days. Even that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for them changing my treatment schedule due to COVID. They condensed what should have been a month long treatment into just 7 days.

Will be keeping  your wife in my prayers!

 

Edited May 18, 2023 by Sheilajeanne

[Mulesaw]

Thanks to everyone for your encouraging comments, it is really appreciated.

So far the treatment is going smooth, Mette has had her hair cut short. That way she reckons that it wont be such a big difference when it starts to come off. Whereas it would have felt strange going from shoulder length to zero (her description).

The nurses at the oncologist department at the hospital are incredibly friendly, and there are a bunch of volunteers from different clubs that are knitting and sewing and crocheting hats and scarfs etc that are free for patients to take and use. Also the Danish welfare system subsides getting a wig, so there is an allowance of almost 900 US$ if you want a wig. If you want to buy scarfs, the allowance is about 225 US$ as far as I remember.

She got a vein valve installed (if that is the proper phrase) before her second round of chemo. The idea is that it is much easier to inject the medicine in that instead of going into a vein in her arm every time. 

So we are keeping our fingers crossed and just cherish those small moments with nice weather in the garden and walking the dogs etc. so we have something to remember when the going gets a little tougher.

Again thanks to you all.

 

[Sheilajeanne]

1 hour ago, Mulesaw said:

She got a vein valve installed (if that is the proper phrase) before her second round of chemo. The idea is that it is much easier to inject the medicine in that instead of going into a vein in her arm every time. 

Yes, the chemo is very tough on the veins! It's probably a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line, and it ends in one of the large vessels just above the heart, so the chemo gets mixed with a large volume of blood as soon as possible, and doesn't have time to damage the vein.

That's great about the subsidies for wigs and scarves. I paid full price for my cap - it's amazing how cold your head gets when there is no hair on it! The wig was a free loan from the Canadian Cancer Society. My hairdresser trimmed off the few remnants of hair I had left, so everything remaining would fit under the wig. I offered to pay her, but she refused to take my money. 

Edited May 24, 2023 by Sheilajeanne

[toxo]

22 minutes ago, Sheilajeanne said:

Yes, the chemo is very tough on the veins! It's probably a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line, and it ends in one of the large vessels just above the heart, so the chemo gets mixed with a large volume of blood as soon as possible, and doesn't have time to damage the vein.

 

I remember that picc line. Didn't like it at the time but blessed it many times over afterward. There was two Macmillan nurses feeding the tube into my right arm and I decided that it wasn't something I needed to watch and so turned my head to the left. They said sorry, you have to look this way else instead of going across to your heart it'll make it's way up to your ear.

As said, it was an absolute boon because it meant that the second type of chemo came in a tube that plugged into the picc line and I could go home every day.

[Cattledude]

I am so very sorry for your wife's cancer. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer April last year. She passed April 15th. Cancer is such a thief of life. Prayers sent for a full recovery. Keep your chin up and be her warrior, don't weaken and stay strong for both of you.

[Handstitched]

12 hours ago, Mulesaw said:

She got a vein valve installed

Here its called a ' cannula' , same thing really.  

It does help to remain  positive , and you're certainly not alone . 

@Cattledude Sorry for the sad passing of your wife.  Sadly , this is something we've all been through at some point in our lives.  We just do our best to remain strong. 

Peace

HS

[Sheilajeanne]

Cattledude, so sorry for your loss.   

I lost my husband to cancer, and breast cancer took both my husband's mother and my grandmother. Fortunately, with better diagnostics and much better treatments, many more women survive breast cancer these days.

[Mulesaw]

@Cattledude So sorry to hear about your loss. 

Cancer is a terrible disease.

@Sheilajeanne So sorry to hear that you have had more interactions with cancer than what anyone should experience. 

I agree that better diagnostics and treatments make it better all the time.

We are still trying to stay positive, but I am afraid that there'll be a little dip in the mood when the hair starts to come off by itself. 
But one of the many things that we have deemed as favourable is that we are in the late spring, so the weather is nice, the garden is full of flowers and blooming trees etc. So if Mette is tired she can rest on the porch with a blanket and a cup of tea. It is a lot easier to stay positive when there isn't rain and howling winds all the time.

I painted a pink ribbon on the side of my old military truck (Volvo Valp), to add awareness to the cause and to give support to all that sees it and recognises the symbol. It also says "STØT BRYSTERNE" which is Danish and means support the breasts. Those are the words that go together with the pink ribbon theme.
 

[chuck123wapati]

On 5/26/2023 at 4:33 AM, Mulesaw said:

@Cattledude So sorry to hear about your loss. 

Cancer is a terrible disease.

@Sheilajeanne So sorry to hear that you have had more interactions with cancer than what anyone should experience. 

I agree that better diagnostics and treatments make it better all the time.

We are still trying to stay positive, but I am afraid that there'll be a little dip in the mood when the hair starts to come off by itself. 
But one of the many things that we have deemed as favourable is that we are in the late spring, so the weather is nice, the garden is full of flowers and blooming trees etc. So if Mette is tired she can rest on the porch with a blanket and a cup of tea. It is a lot easier to stay positive when there isn't rain and howling winds all the time.

I painted a pink ribbon on the side of my old military truck (Volvo Valp), to add awareness to the cause and to give support to all that sees it and recognises the symbol. It also says "STØT BRYSTERNE" which is Danish and means support the breasts. Those are the words that go together with the pink ribbon theme.
 

awesome sentiment and an awesome truck, i want one!! Ribbons would be a good thing from some scrap leather as well. Wishing you and yours all the best my friend.

[Handstitched]

On 5/26/2023 at 6:33 PM, Mulesaw said:

I painted a pink ribbon on the side of my old military truck

I had to do a second take, it reminded me of an early  ' Landrover Forward Control' .

Thats a great way to spread the message  about breast cancer as  the ' Pink Ribbon'  symbol is  universal .  We have annual campaigns here in Oz . 

HS

[DwightT]

@Mulesaw - sorry to hear about your wife's cancer.  As you and others have noted, the early detection should go a long ways towards knocking it down.  I lost my first wife to pancreatic cancer, which has a tendency to hide undetected until too late.  Here's hoping that the side effects of the treatment are mild and the recovery is quick.

[Mulesaw]

A quick update

The chemo therapy has worked a lot better than we had hoped for, Mette has felt OK for most of the time, with the usual side effects like loosing hair and being a bit more tired etc. But all in all a lot better than expected. 

The last type of medication was of a different type compared to the first rounds, and she felt a bit nausea after getting it, but there are now 2 weeks between the treatments so that is good. 

The hospital have planned for the surgery in the late September, and they are still intending to do a surgery that will only remove the dead tissue from inside the breast, so that is very positive.

Mette has been feeling so well that she has "sent me back to sea", I'll be back in time for her surgery which is good, and it has also been good that I have been able to stay at home with her all this time.

Take care y'all 

 

 

[dannyd93140]

Hang in there, my wife has survived for 24 years so far.

[Mulesaw]

On 8/7/2023 at 10:30 PM, dannyd93140 said:

Hang in there, my wife has survived for 24 years so far.

Thanks,

We have tried to look at the positive things like it all happening during the warmer months, so very little risk of catching a cold or a flu which would be bad when the immune system is kind of knocked out by the treatment.

Now there's one more chemo treatment to go before surgery, so we are starting to be able to see an end to it. 

Brgds

Jonas

 

[Sheilajeanne]

Hang in there! 

I was going through chemo during the COVID lockdown. And the chemo caused breathing problems - I was on oxygen for awhile! You can bet I kept my distance from anyone not wearing a mask!! It was a scary time.

[Mulesaw]

1 hour ago, Sheilajeanne said:

Hang in there! 

I was going through chemo during the COVID lockdown. And the chemo caused breathing problems - I was on oxygen for awhile! You can bet I kept my distance from anyone not wearing a mask!! It was a scary time.

Wow, that sounds frightening!

I hope that you have recovered completely. It is such a big scary disease, and the psychological impact on the patient and the family is hard to imagine. 

[chuck123wapati]

42 minutes ago, Mulesaw said:

the psychological impact on the patient and the family is hard to imagine. 

i pray for you and your family, that you don't have to live with outcome some of us have suffered. I am so glad your wife is doing well.  I try to think of an uplifting thought to add but i lost my dad to cancer when i was about 27, Chemo was pretty new then so i hope they have come a very very very long way in the treatment.

Take care my friend and may god bless you and yours.

[Mulesaw]

@chuck123wapati

Thank you, it really helps to know that we are not alone in it.

They really have come a long way with the chemo treatment, and we have been very lucky that Mette discovered it when the nodes were still really small. But it still lingers in the back of the head a lot of the time.
The first 3 times she had the chemo, I drove her to the hospital, since she got another injection of something that had a red warning triangle on it, so she couldn't drive home, and those waiting rooms.. even if they don't look like a regular hospital waiting room, there is definitely a different mood in there compared to the part of the hospital for giving birth. 

When I get home from the ship this time, she'll have a surgery, and then I think there is still a couple of months with chemo before the treatment is over. And then there will be check up's every so often for the next couple of years. 

Thanks, Jonas

 

[Sheilajeanne]

On 9/2/2023 at 1:32 PM, Mulesaw said:

Wow, that sounds frightening!

I hope that you have recovered completely. It is such a big scary disease, and the psychological impact on the patient and the family is hard to imagine. 

Yeah, it was, especially when some close family members decided the vaccines were killing people and masks were useless in preventing transmission. 

I just had a bad scare with the breast swelling up and getting hard, but after a round of very comprehensive tests, my oncologist says it's just due to scarring causing an increase in lymph-edema. I'm coming up for 4 years cancer free in November!