2024, for fun

[fredk]

I heard this one many years ago

During WW2 an American Air Force unit was based in the English countryside. The Air Force personnel used to use the local pub

One day an experienced Air Force man was with a new arrival. As they came to the pub one says

'These English yokels are so dumb. Wait till you see this'

They approached two locals who were having a drink at a table

The Airman put down a nickel and a dime and said

'Tell me which you think is worth more'

One local looked at the two coins, scratched his head, then said 'Arr, now Oi thinks the bigger shinier coin be worth more'

The Airmen laughed at this and walked on into the pub leaving the nickel and dime on the table

The second local says to the first 'ere Henry, you know rightly that the dime is worth twice the nickel'

'Aye, I do that, but if I said so they'd stop playing this game' then he showed his friend a bucket under table 'so far I've made $30 this month playing this game with the US airmen'

 

Edited October 5, 2024 by fredk

[Handstitched]

On 10/6/2024 at 5:52 AM, fredk said:

During WW2 an American Air Force unit was based in the English countryside.

I was born in Haverhill, Suffolk ,  and there was a US airbase not far away from Haverhill plus a few others. Even back then, they were still on alert as the air raid siren used go off , scaring the shite out of me. Something I'll never forget. 

 

HS

[toxo]

 

 

12 BOTTLES OF WHISKEY.

 

I had 12 bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife decided she was fed up with me getting drunk and so ordered me to empty each and every one of them down the sink - or else!!! So knowing what “or else” might mean I proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the 1^st bottle & poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one small glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the 2nd bottle and did likewise with the exception of one small glass which I drank. I withdrew the cork from the 3^rd bottle and poured the booze down the sink with the exception (not wanting to create a precedent) of one glass which I drank. I pulled the cork from the 4^th sink and poured the bottle down the sink which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next one and drank one sink and poured the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass & poured the cork down the bottle. I pulled the next cork out of my throat, poured the sink down the bottle and drank the glass. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

 

When I had emptied everything, I steadied the house with one hand and counted all the bottles & corks & glasses with the other hand & there were 29. To be sure, the next time they came around I counted them again and counted 74. I was sure I had em all this time but there was one glass left which I drank.

 

[Handstitched]

Reminds me of the song '"Ten Green  Bottles Hanging on the Wall "...... Try singing that after a few  whisky's  . 

 

HS