This is the problem with getting past the beginner stage. If we could just be satisfied with achieving a reasonable saddle stitch, we'd all be way happier.
I guess that's why some products don't have a finished edge at all - at some level, it's almost better to have a completely unfinished edge than something that gets fuzzy almost at once. I've tried gum trag, I've tried wax/paraffin, I've tried resolene... I don't know. I'm selling anyway, because that's how I get money to continue experimenting.... but I rationalize it by saying that there's a price you pay for perfection, and I'm not asking that price. Have you tried using fenice Edge Agent before edge paint? When I first tried fenice, I gave up pretty quickly because I was burnishing the leather first, then applying fenice. As it turns out, it doesn't stick to saddle soap. I think it was Ferg who posted about not burnishing at all first, and applying fenice edge agent as a first coat. It's worked way better. I still haven't gotten it down, but the adherence seems pretty good at this point. As an experiment, I put a single coat of fenice (not even with the edge agent) on an unburnished strap last year, and there's been absolutely no peeling. Granted, the wear on a strap doesn't compare to the wear on a wallet.